Community Discussion
r/jobs
HR told me they don't accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview
They rejected me but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don't build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm.
Picture this: you've just finished what you thought was a solid interview. You were polite, enthusiastic, and eager to please. Then comes the rejection email that stops you cold,not just a "no," but feedback calling you a "people pleaser" with "rehearsed enthusiasm."
This exact scenario sparked one of the most engaging discussions in r/jobs history, with over 31,000 upvotes and nearly 8,000 comments. The community's response revealed something fascinating: sometimes the most uncomfortable feedback becomes the most valuable gift.
The Gift of Brutal Honesty
This will actually help you. Being overly agreeable will result in being used and underpaid at every turn.
This comment cuts straight to the career truth many people discover too late. People-pleasing behavior, while well-intentioned, can signal to employers that you'll struggle with boundaries, difficult conversations, and standing up for your ideas. In leadership roles especially, companies need people who can push back constructively.
Actually, I read that as "You came off as disingenuous and we don't believe you." Be thankful they gave you that feedback and use it to make yourself better. As my former employer always said, "feedback is a gift".
This perspective shift is powerful. What felt like a personal attack might actually be feedback about authenticity. When we try so hard to be what we think employers want, we can come across as scripted or insincere. The real challenge isn't being more agreeable, it's being more genuinely you.
Why Most Companies Stay Silent
Most companies won't. They were honest with this candidate and now the candidate is upset. Not worth it for most companies.
You should get on your knees and thank God that you actually got interview feedback rather than an automated decline Email with no idea how to improve yourself moving forward.
This frustration is shared by thousands of job seekers who never hear why they weren't selected. While the delivery was blunt, this feedback provides a roadmap for improvement that most candidates never receive.
The Authenticity Balance
I love that they provided honest feedback. I agree that it comes across as personal because it's so blunt, but I don't find it inappropriate (of course, only you know for sure because you were in the interview)
People-Pleasing vs. Authentic Engagement
People-Pleasing Red Flags
Agreeing with everything without question • Over-apologizing for normal conversation • Excessive enthusiasm about every aspect • Avoiding any hint of personal boundaries • Scripted responses to every question
Authentic Professional Presence
Asking thoughtful questions • Expressing genuine interest in specific aspects • Sharing relevant concerns or considerations • Demonstrating personal values and standards • Natural conversation flow with spontaneous insights
Turning Feedback Into Growth
The real opportunity emerges when we stop defending and start reflecting. This harsh feedback, while painful, offers specific areas for development that can transform not just your interview performance, but your entire professional presence.
Practice Authentic Enthusiasm
Instead of expressing excitement about everything, identify what genuinely interests you about the role and company. Your specific curiosity will feel more real than general enthusiasm.
Prepare Thoughtful Questions
Ask about challenges, team dynamics, or growth opportunities. Show you're evaluating the fit too, not just hoping they'll accept you.
Share Your Standards
Mention what matters to you in a work environment. This shows self-awareness and helps establish you as someone with boundaries and values.
The Reddit community's response to this difficult feedback reveals a profound truth: growth often comes wrapped in uncomfortable packages. While rejection always stings, feedback that helps you show up more authentically in future interviews becomes an unexpected gift.
Your worth isn't determined by one company's feedback, but your growth can be accelerated by your willingness to listen, reflect, and adjust. The courage to be genuinely yourself, enthusiastic yet grounded, collaborative yet confident, will serve you far better than any people-pleasing performance ever could.